The "Ultimate Thriving Machine"
Top Ten Reasons
Here are just a "few" reasons why men fail to screen for cancer-we know you wouldn't use excuses and put your Ultimate Thriving Machine in harm's way.
1. My therapist told me to trust my feelings; I don't feel like I have cancer
2. I haven't done anything to get cancer
3. I've got more important things to do.
4. I thought they checked for that when I went through airport security.
5. My start date for screening is Y3K
6. I'll start screening when the Red Sox come back from a 3-0 deficit in the AL Championship Series to beat the Yankees.......AGAIN!
7.Where in the Bible does it say I have to screen?
8. WHOA-back up a little. Testicles?Prostate?Colon? When did I get those things?
9. I plead the Fifth or Sixth or whatever!
10. I don't need to screen. I eat organic and I drive a hybrid!
11. I heard Cancer skips a generation.
12. The men in my family have a strong tradition of NOT screening for cancer.
13. I'm protected by cancer filters. They're installed in my car, home and office. (NOTE: there is no such thing).
14. Do I really have to check for cancer? I think I'm a eunech or maybe I'm just UNIQUE!
15. I'll start my cancer screening on February 30.
16. Why screen? Everyone knows that laughter is the best medicine.
17. As soon as a woman walks on the moon...and vacuums up all of that moon dust.
18. With all the toxins in the world, why bother?
19. Testicles, prostate, colon-have you been spying on me?
20. I'll start screening when the Iron Curtain comes down.
21. I'll start when George W. Bush kisses Fidel Castro.
22. Screening is for wimps.
23. I don't have to screen because I started yoga-or maybe it was yogurt.
24. It's just a little smoke.
25. Postitive thinking protects me from cancer.
26. I smoke to help the economy.
27. Haven't you heard of ________(fill in the blank with the latest fad, food, or book that claims to be the newest and best way to prevent cancer).
28. I'll start when Sandra Day OConnor poses for Playboy.
29. I smoke only free-range tobacco.
30. If my wife doesn't have to screen for prostate or testicular cancer, neither do I.
31. I've already got skin, oral and lung cancer-I'm going for a gland slam!
32. Our oncologist is a real hottie.
33. Cancer schmancer.
34. Didn't I already do that?
35. But I have no pain.
36. I'm not into that kinky stuff.
37. Cancer screening is a fad-kind of like a pet rock.
38. All this cancer screening talk is part of the liberal agenda.
39. All this cancer screening talk is part of a vast right wing conspiracy.
40. LA LA LA LA LA LA.....I'm not listening!
41. I gave at the office.
42. What's in it for me?
43. I don't screen on days that end in "y"
44. It's against my religion.
45. Hey, you only live once!
46. I screened in my previous life-ask Shirley McLaine.
47. If my cancer screen turns out like my drug
screen test at work, then I'm screwed.
48. I'm waiting for drive thru service.
49. Why bother? My astrology sign is already cancer.
50. Cancers aren't as tough as they used to be.
51. I have good insurance.
52. I have crappy insurance.
53. I'm afraid you'll find something
54. You're not the boss of me.
55. I'm waiting for hell to freeze over.
56. I'll screen for cancer if Elvis does the same.
57. My boss busts my balls every day. Maybe he should check for testicular cancer.
58. Screening? I thought you put that on windows in the summer.
59. I live in a pretty good neighborhood.
60. I will screen only if I am a contestant on "Survivor".
61. My TSA has been doing well. Oh, you mean that's not the same as my PSA.
62. The voices in my head say don't do it!
63. I took a quiz in Playboy-it says I'm okay!
64. I heard those tests make you sterile or impotent.
65. I'll start screening when O.J. is found guilty-Oh!
66. I'm waiting until I have more money than Bill Gates.
67.I've got two words for cancer-BRING IT ON!
68. How bad can cancer really be?
69. Don't cancer specialists deserve to make a living?
70. I'll start when the Yankees win the Super bowl.
MORE TO COME....
DON'T MAKE EXCUSES-MAKE AN APPOINTMENT with your medical mechanic TODAY!!
